The universe has been SCREAMING this message at me for about a month now. I am grateful!!! It is time to practice what I preach to my children. Anyone else on the edge of a new chapter? Grab some post-its and copy down these tid-bits of advice then post them everywhere….your bathroom mirror, your fridge, the back of your front door, above your sink….you name it. Encourage yourself the way you would encourage your most loved ones.
Believe in Yourself.
Fail…you’re supposed to fail-like A LOT!!!
Lead with love.
Help every chance you get.
Stop making excuses.
Just do it.
Who cares what people think?
Talk to God, every day!
Today is National Albinism Awareness Day. Do you know what Albinism is? Follow this link if you’d like to learn more All Things Albinism .
Most people don’t know what Albinism is and can sometimes stare or whisper at first glance. Lots of times people are startled when they see someone with albinism because they have never seen someone with white hair before.
As a new mom of boys with albinism I often mistook the general curiosity of most people for cruelty. I would go home angry and hurt after an outing because of all of the whispering and staring. Thanks to NOAH (The National Organization for Albinism and Hypopigmentation) I learned due to the rarity of Albinism (1 in approximately 20,000 in the US) most people just don’t know much about it. They suggested I educate people about what Albinism is and what it is not.
So….. I changed the way I thought about the stares, the whispering, and even (gasp) the occasional pointing! Now when people look or whisper in our direction I remind myself that they are most likely wondering not judging. When this happens I generally find a way to tell the person or people about albinism. I say something like- I see you noticing my son’s hair. Isn’t is awesome!?! We call it his rockstar hair. And then I give them a quick lesson on albinism. By doing this I avoid feeling angry or hurt and end up having lots of pleasant conversations. That’s not even the best part. The BEST part is what it does for the boys. They see me educating people, in a matter of fact way, about their albinism. It gives them an example of what to do and how to explain things when they are in a similar situation and it normalizes it for them.
If you ever have any questions about Albinism please just go on ahead and ask. I love spreading knowledge about this magical condition my children have been blessed with.
#albinism #educate #lifelonglearner #bekind #benice #rockstarhair #albinismisbeautiful #stephenandjoseph #magicmatters #findyourmagic #differentnotless #magicalbeauty
Without the magic of it all, what is the point of it all? Think about it. What would be missing from a world without the mystery and the magic? Well let’s think;
Santa, Rudolf, Frosty, The Little Drummer Boy, cookies and carrots and presents AND family gatherings…
The Easter Bunny, egg hunts, baskets filled with chocolate, AND family gatherings…
Harry, Ron, Hermione, Hogwarts, Diagon Alley quidditch, the whole magical world of it all AND family gatherings to read the books and watch the movies…
M-i-c-k-e-y, Minnie, Goofy, Pluto, Donald, Daisy, the whole magical world of it all, AND family gatherings…
R2-D2, Chewbacca, Darth Vader, Princess Leah, the whole magical galaxy of it all AND family gatherings.
You know, for most of my life I was engrossed in the magic. My parents and extended family rooted our traditions within it. We gathered. We gathered all the damn time! As I got older and life undoubtedly chipped away at the magic, I grew weary and then I became just darn dark about it all. I was stuck in the pain of tragic and traumatic loss. I never could have imagined it would take as long as it has to regain my identity. But it did, it took years. Now that I have come through the other side of the fire I am eager to find the magic and build family traditions around it. I am ready for Sunday dinners and picnics in the park. I can’t wait for ordering pizza, kayaking, and sunsets on the beach. I’m excited for birthdays and name days and Tuesdays. There is magic tucked away in all of it! Thank God!!
This can be easier said than done. Does that mean we shouldn’t still strive to achieve? Of course not! Life is not supposed to be easy. It is meant to challenge us and teach us every step of the way. We can’t learn the lessons intended for us if we are not present. So just keep on fighting and believing in yourself.
Here I sit…It’s the middle of the summer…I guess mommy burnout is starting to settle in and it’s got me thinking….Moms of today’s world have such drastically different existences than our mom’s had. Our world is infinitely bigger than it was when we were growing up. Ummmm can you say google or iphone, itouch, ipad, ianything? How about youtube or netflix or alexa? For all the good they bring they also bring a frantic way of life. The overabundance of information that is available has infinitely increased the number of people we keep in touch with and talk to each day. It allows us to tackle more daily tasks and gives us the ability to get much more accomplished. It has also allowed us to respond to each other in real time, regardless of where we are or what we are doing. The problem is, somewhere along the way the tone changed. Now instead of having the ability we are expected to . The expectations we face on a given day are unrealistic. We are rushing from moment to moment unable to focus or be present.
We are bombarded by a daily battle to balance our careers with dentists, doctors and school appointments, therapies, play dates, sports, arts, tutoring, cleaning, maintaining, socializing, shopping and cooking (not that I spend much time on the last one-not at all really).
And those of us at home have the pressure of pinterest, well I guess we all have pinterest barking at our heels. (I have never had such a deeply rooted love hate relationship as I do with pinterest.) I mean who knew you could do so much with a pallet? Still-everything should be prettier and better prepared or organized than it is and if you do stay home, you have no excuse! Handmade party invitations, favors and decorations, or else! Do you know I recently read an article that explained why handwritten thank you notes from children are necessary after birthday parties.
I guess my point is-we all have to remind ourselves and sometimes the people of our parent’s generation, that the world has changed. The role of Mom has taken on so much more in the past fifteen years. We need to stick together.
So, have you started thinking about what your currency is? Are you living your authentic life? What is getting in your way? Are you prepared to make the changes necessary to exist in your happy?
I still remember when I realized how fluid it all really is. There I was at the beginning of 2008 in the middle of a decade long climb up the acquisition ladder. I had my dream career, the fancy car, a new house full of brand new furniture and everything else you could imagine. I had been gathering like a squirrel preparing for an apocalypse. I was proud. I was enjoying life and knew I was honoring my legend.
The thing is in one instant my legend changed. Suddenly everything that had mattered, mattered no longer.
All I wanted was time with my son.
This notion that more equals success is hindering our growth as a human race. Literally! The average family size has been on a steady decline over the past 50 years. We are so collectively distracted by getting and going, and having, and showing that we are not present enough to witness each other as we are learning, and loving, and growing.
I was trapped in a web. I had to work the long hours of my now dreaded job to pay for the big house and the new furniture and the fancy car. My husband did too. Someone else was taking care of our son. (Thank you Miss Patti!) We were exhausted and had no time together. We didn’t understand why we were struggling to be happy. Our purpose had changed without warning OR our control. The problem was, we had not yet adjusted our mindset.
We were not honoring our true family legend at the time. Life was moving fast and happening to us, we were not living it. I have found that it takes an incredible amount of clarity, bravery, and faith to make the changes needed to adjust your mindset and continue to live the life you are meant to live.
It is so easy to get caught up in the race and the pace of this thing called life. We need to remind each other to slow down and take time to identify and nurture what really matters so that we can truly live.
So-do you know what your currency is?
When Tali finished sharing her story I found myself reliving a weeknight dinner at my childhood home. My parents, my brother and I lived in a publicly assisted apartment complex of a wealthy town in Massachusetts, yes my friends, I grew up in the projects. My mother stayed home and took care of my brother and I. She drove us to school every day armed with our brown paper bagged lunches, sweet notes of love and encouragement written on them. (Might I add this was before pinterest people-this was all her!) She picked us up, along with most of our friends every afternoon. We knew she would be waiting with a smile and a snack. There are no words to explain the comfort, confidence, or sense of peace this one unconditional act provided. My Dad got home from work shortly after we got home from school, around 3:30 or 4 o’clock. We did homework, got ready for sports, watched Wheel of Fortune and then we ate dinner together. Every single night between 5 and 5:30 we ate dinner together.
My parents made financial sacrifices to support our time together. Growing up my father always told me “Tarsh, money doesn’t mean anything. Don’t ever let it get in your way.” He quickly followed this up with, “Just take care of your credit and money will only matter as much as you let it.” I am sure some of you are thinking he was crazy to teach me that money doesn’t matter.
I mean obviously it can spread joy and alleviate stress when used properly. Through education, money can provide the opportunity to expand and grow. In that way, it can also buy the supports and services required to help one meet their fullest potential. But fooled be not-money will never learn the lessons for you. It is up to YOU to learn them. How much you learn depends on your effort and determination. The difference maker is tenacity and passion and desire and consistency, not money.
Money can also be used to pay for the expenses of a family vacation, or to bring people together who live far away. You know what though, if you are full of desire, angst, anger or any other distracting entity you will not be fully present for these vacations or gatherings. In that case it doesn’t even matter how much money you have. When mistakes are made or feelings are hurt you address them with love and hugs, not Gucci and Prada. What matters is how you treat yourself and your people, your tribe.
You’ll notice I refer to The Alchemist by Palo Alto often. (Honestly, if you have not read it you are really missing out. (Check out a PDF copy of the book here )That is because, like Tali’s words, the book opened my eyes, my mind and my heart. Alto encourages his readers to remember happiness comes from within. Happiness comes when you figure out the legend of your soul and then live your life accordingly.
What is the legend of your soul?
Money is not my currency…
In the world of this Magic Mama money will not bring you true happiness. It can be used as a tool to spread joy but be careful to remember~Happiness is a state of being that a soul exists in, searches for, and enjoys. Money is something used to acquire and consume. The two could not be more different.
Last year one of my closest friends uttered a seemingly forgettable phrase while sharing a much more poignant story about her life. She never could have known at the time how much her words resonated with me or how much freedom they opened up within my soul. Tali-When you said, “Money is not my currency” You unknowingly connected the dots of my why…my purpose, my passion for this life. Those five little words helped me recognize that I was lost and so far from living my authentic life. A sense of clarity came over me allowing me to identify what matters to me, what does not, and how that shapes who I am and how I intend to live this life. So thank you, for that (and so much more) my soulsister.
I had been struggling to reconcile contradicting pieces of my puzzle for years. Wandering from moment to moment, fighting to overcome the disconnect between what I believe and what I do began to feel normal. Thankfully the universe brought me to a very special villa tucked away in the hills of California. It was there that Tali’s words stopped me in my tracks and sent me on an unexpected year long journey of reflection, meditation, prayer, and enlightenment. Have I figured it all out? HELL NO! I mean, do we ever? But I have come to trust in my journey and understand that each of our lives are entrusted with a great purpose. It is our duty to identify what it is and then share it out into the universe.
Sadly, our society is ruled by the instant, yet superficial, gratification that money can provide. I am not immune to its lure. I really enjoy some of the superficial things money provides. But I don’t care about them. I don’t need them. I firmly believe things don’t matter, people do. So why then, is my life chock full of short term-easily accessible joy while I work so hard to attain true happiness? It is time to make sure my priorities align with my values. It is time to redirect my family’s focus.
Please join me this week as I share the insight and perspective that I have gained while pondering just what my soul’s currency is.
February 16, 2022.
Well big guy, you did it. Ten years old today. I’ve never written you a letter on your birthday, but I’ve dreamed of your tenth for so long I can’t help myself.
I remember the day you were born, thinking “Who is this kid? Who is he going to be?” I held you in my arms for the first time in bed space 4 in the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit at Boston Children’s Hospital, dreaming of the life that was ahead of you, not sure you’d even get the chance to have one.
Boy, did you have one.
I’ve watched you grow up, been there for everything, and I couldn’t be prouder of you. I remember so much about your younger days. I don’t want to forget one detail so I’ve been writing memories down furiously lately. Here are some of my favorites.
Before you were born…
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